So, my wife says to me, “I need a clock for my new remodeled office space you carved out of that teenager’s old room for me…a big ole’ one.”
“Ok,” I says back. No point in arguing.
I go to my old trusty stand-by–Amazon–because where else would I go? And by “go there” I mean I spend an hour staring at my phone and cursing in a whisper. After pricing myself out of there, I consult the wife, concerning the price range, and she agrees with me, which is a suspicious development. “I’ll bet you could build one yourself cheaper,” she remarks.
Sigh. I knew I wasn’t getting off easy. See? Suspicious, like I said.
I go to hobby lobby–a tangible form of Amazon for the DIY’ers of the world. You know, the cheapskates who are going to save more money. And by “go there” I mean I use gas to drive to town, and actually, physically walk in–the second most potentially expensive act to having an Amazon prime account. Instead of waiting only two days I only need wait…never! Nothing faster than the now to get all those shiny pretty things that I think I need. Thirty inch clocks there, BTW, are over a hundred dollars. An amount that, in the aftermath of my virgin tour of clock construction, seems almost suspiciously cheap. Like they know something I don’t want to admit.
Sooooo, I compile a parts list, purchase the relevant materials from Hob Lob, and head to the lumber store, to buy…lumber…and glue…and stain…and sandpaper…hmmmm…is it too late to retreat back to Amazon? I mean, I could have a clock on my doorstep in two days with my prime membership, bang it up a bit, hang out in my shop and enjoy a few beers, then allow the her member of this marital relationship to believe I built it with my own two wittle hands. Couldn’t I? Yeppers, that’s what I’ll do. I’m not stupid.
After cutting the lumber to length, and fetching my glue and glue-clamps, I proceeded to glue and clamp. What? You didn’t really think I was going to pull that hey-I-made-this-clock-Amazon-scam, did you? Pshaw! I may be cheap and easy, but like I recently stated, I’m not stupid.
That was easy. And cheap, so far.
Well, that’s good for now. I gotta let it stew a while before proceeding farther. After the glue sets up, I’ll magically turn this rather ragged rectangle into a circle in part two. Until then, it’s five o clock somewhere.